What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I could fuck to npr.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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