I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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