So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
