i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
