Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
