My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
