I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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