I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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