She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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