No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
