I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
