his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
