i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
