Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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