I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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