Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
