If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
