i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
