remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
