Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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