Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
