Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
