is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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