i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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