I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
