I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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