Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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