Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
