After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
