Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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