It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i now understand why vodka
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
