ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
