Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
