Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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