You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
