Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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