I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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