But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
