you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
