I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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