just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
