Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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