There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
