yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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