Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
