I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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