sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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