His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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