dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
