I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
