I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
