oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
